https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict_avoidance
source: https://tilia-formation.fr/quest-ce-que-la-t-c-c/
Conflict resolution guidelines
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Principle
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Acknowledge that conflicts happen.
Resolve conflicts as close as possible to the people involved. Begin
with the people directly involved, and escalate from there as needed.
We have mutual responsibility and care for each other. We act in good
faith and work to be constructive, empathic, and honest.
We resolve conflicts with both our individual needs and the needs of the
organisation in mind.
When disagreement becomes conflicted and is blocking progress, is
hurtful or harmful, a resolution needs to be found. We engage to the
best of our ability to resolve conflict, and seek help when needed.
Anyone affected by a conflict can escalate an issue that is not being
resolved at the current level of engagement.
Resolution means the parties involved feel heard, the agreed outcome or
change is clear, and normal decision-making and activity within the
workgroup or organisation at large is possible. If a conflict continues
to negatively impact an individual or the team, it is not resolved.
Process
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We endeavour to resolve conflicts at the lowest possible escalation
step, but agree to escalate conflicts if they are not resolved.
1. Personal reflection & individual support: Think through what
happened. Take time and space to process and clarify your thinking if
you feel confused, overwhelmed, or are experiencing strong emotions.
Talk to a trusted colleague to work through your own perspective and
experience. Ask yourself what part you played in it, what you could have
done different, and what your needs are to improve the situation. If you
feel you need to go beyond individual work to resolve the problem,
escalate to the next step.
2. Direct communication : As long as you feel safe and the power balance
and tone is encouraging constructive discussion, approach the person in
question and talk it out. Be mindful of picking a good time and place
(privacy, lack of time pressure, mutually agreed location, if possible
to meet in person). If you don’t feel like you can work it out
one-on-one for any reason, escalate to the next step.
3. Supported communication: Bring in a colleague (preferably two) which
you and the other party trust to act as a mediator and host a
conversation with the people involved. Mediator’s role is to support the
participants in coming to their own solutions. If the colleagues feel
insufficiently resourced, or you’ve tried and it didn’t resolve the
conflict, escalate to the next step.
4. Workgroup or Coordinators group / topic-relevant colleagues: If the
previous steps have not resolved the conflict, reach out to the
workgroup team. Together you will try to find a mutually agreeable next
step, such as hosting a mediation themselves, or inviting an external
mediator or other expert in. If the above steps are not successful in
resolving the conflict, the situation will be escalated beyond the
conflict resolution process and become an employment matter. At this
stage, the coordinators will be engaged to gather all the information
about the situation and figure out next steps. Irresolvable conflicts
may lead to someone leaving the organisation, referral to external
authorities if relevant, or systemic/structural changes to our organisation.
Processing a tension
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Notice, Understand and Act principle
NOTICE tension
UNDERSTAND: (one can use the ABC model here)
–> Observe the situation
–> Observe your emotions
–> Understand your beliefs
–> What do you want?
ACT:
• Leave situation
• Change situation
–> take action OR
–> make a request
• Accept situation
ABC model
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ABC = Antecedent → Belief → Consequence
A – Activitating Event (also sometimes described as a ‘Trigger’)
B – Beliefs (for example, the thoughts that occur to you when the
Activating Event happens)
C – Consequence – how you feel and behave when you have those Beliefs
(consequences may be divided into two parts: your actions and your
emotions)
A: Write down the event or situation that triggered your thoughts and
feelings.
B: Write down the thoughts that went through your head when the
activating event occurred (or after it)
C: Actions: How did you act then?
Emotions: What did you feel then?
The ABC model encourages you to think about what your options are for
dealing with negative thoughts both by using balancing thoughts to
address your thought processes and by thinking about practical actions
that you might take to improve or cope with a problematic situation you
find yourself in.
If on reflection you consider that the Beliefs are not justified, then
you might think of some Balancing Statements which you can remind
yourself of when the activating event occurs to help keep what is
happening in perspective.